Musings of the Certifiable

Where intelligence gives way to madness.

Author Archives: Geoff

What To Expect When Your Friends Are Expecting

So that nobody is left behind, let’s make sure we’re starting out on equal footing.  When a man and a woman love each other very, very much, they plan a … Continue reading

May 29, 2014 · 2 Comments

5 Movie Scenes That Changed My Life

We often credit our family, friends, and mentors as the guiding lights in our path on this crazy life ride we’re making our collective way through.  And I’m sure I … Continue reading

April 8, 2014 · 1 Comment

5 Reasons You Are Really Still A Child

In the natural progression of life, we go through stages that define which role we are to be playing at any given time.  Outside of the Benjamin Button nonsensery, everyone … Continue reading

February 3, 2014 · 2 Comments

4 Shows The History Channel Needs Right Now

The History Channel came into existence as a history buff’s paradise to immerse themselves in old things that didn’t involve appraising antiques.  I was pumped.  I absolutely love that shit.  … Continue reading

October 28, 2013 · Leave a comment

7 Songs I Will Gladly Lose My Man Card Over

Music is one of the few things in life that we all incorporate into our daily lives.  That is exactly as far as the similarities go.  Immediately afterwards, we branch … Continue reading

September 3, 2013 · 3 Comments

4 Ways to Fix Hufflepuff House

It has been said that the first step in solving any problem is admitting there is one.  Well Hufflepuff, it is long overdue that we address the inexcusably high levels … Continue reading

August 22, 2013 · 5 Comments

The Dismantling of My Playoff Beard

Last night was a huge night for those of us lucky enough to live in Chicago.  Three key things happened in my world.  The Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup, mayhem … Continue reading

June 25, 2013 · Leave a comment

Mrs. Potts: The Villain Behind the Voice

I know, friend.  My overanalyzation borders on an unhealthy obsession with the amount of time I spend dissecting things in Disney movies.  We have previously discussed how perception can have … Continue reading

June 13, 2013 · Leave a comment

The Best Movie Almost Made

Science fiction has long provided us with a window in which to view things that are not practical in our reality.  These scenarios can set the stage for an unbelievably … Continue reading

May 31, 2013 · Leave a comment

Can’t I Just Date My Liquor Cabinet?

The wooing process in the modern world can best be described as an exercise in perseverance. Much preparation goes into ensuring that we actually have something worthwhile to say that … Continue reading

April 30, 2013 · 3 Comments

Day to Day Ramblings

Follow along with all the future asshattery to come.

Haven’t Had Enough Yet?



I am a 28 year old recovering optimist who calls Chicago home. Your mom would like me.

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